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Friday, July 15, 2011

Set a fire down in my soul


As I continue my growth in my faith this summer, my focus has been narrowed to one thing in past couple of weeks: to gain the skills necessary to become an effective leader of college guys (mainly freshman) in our campus church, especially during the next school year.

Before this summer, I had never had a mature, Christian guy my age that really focused on being a positive mentor and role model for me. That has changed in my first 8 weeks at LT with a great life group leader, staff guide and other people who have shown specific care for me.

I have had a ton of positive experiences with one-on-one mentorship at LT and I now feel like I will be more comfortable giving advice to younger college students because of the experiences I have had here. Because of this, I am super excited to be a spiritual mentor to people in our canvas group next year.

This kind of personal attention and caring is one of the better things that I have discovered about my faith in the past year. Honestly, what’s a more appealing faith than one that has people who truly care about you? People taking time out to meet with me just to listen to what is going on in my life has been one of the best things about LT so far.

I want to show this kind of Godly love to as many people as possible, no matter if they have been a Christian their entire lives, are just starting to think about becoming a Christian, or even if they are a non-Christian. I believe God has given me ears to listen, experiences to help people in tough times and a loving heart, so my passion and skills line up!

I don’t know if this means I want to stay at the college level after I graduate (sounds great to me) and help out a campus church somewhere, but I am certain I want to sell completely out for our canvas group next year.

Next year will be the first full year that I will be involved in a canvas group, so I am pumped to be there to reel all of the freshman in and start building into them. Seeing people you really care about grow in their faith is so exciting!

I’ve learned so much about myself and my faith this summer, all while gaining confidence in my ability to be a loving friend to other Christians.

When we started “Chazown” at the beginning of the summer, I didn’t believe I would truly find a solid purpose for myself before the end of the summer. I thought some of my better skills would be revealed and I would start to see my purpose coming to the surface, but I didn’t expect to have so many specific ideas in mind about where my life could be headed.

God provides and it is awesome.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Finding TRUE and EVERLASTING joy

Before last school year, I was living a life that I thought was normal, happy and above average. I had cool friends, most people that I met liked me, I had things that made me joyful and I felt like I was a nice person overall. What wasn’t to like? Some things weren’t perfect, but I thought that was normal and that I had to deal with my problems on my own.

I had attended the Rock (a campus ministry at Mizzou) a couple times in my first two years on campus, but I never dedicated myself to a canvas group (small group that hangs out all the time but only officially meets once a week) or attended the service on a regular basis.

After two years, I figured I needed something to change. There was something more than just sitting around, enjoying sports, hanging out with friends and being lazy. At the beginning of my junior year, I had a passion set on my heart to be more connected to the Rock, so I dove in, not fully knowing what to expect.

What I was exposed to changed the plan of my life forever. I saw people my age actually perusing a PERSONAL relationship with God. What the crap? I had never seen so many people united for one common goal: to know the creator of the universe as well as they possibly could.

I was hooked. I attended the annual fall retreat and got super involved in the Mark Twain Canvas Group (represent!). I kept falling more and more in love with the people in the group and more importantly, with God. I had always had the knowledge that God loved me, but I never really experienced it fully or personally.

This newfound passion for my faith helped me decide to attend LT this summer. If you’ve been following my life at all, you know what LT is all about, but I’ll explain it again anyways.

It’s basically a summer camp where we have to work 40 hour a week jobs, get in a canvas group-like group with people from other schools (Texas A&M, UNT, Kent State, Bowling Green, Ohio St., Harding (!), etc.), grow in our faith and get more comfortable with sharing it.

Talk about one of the better decisions of my life. LT is held in Estes Park, Colorado, which is one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen. I’ve been able to hike so many mountains (35 miles so far!) while experiencing great summer weather for the first time ever.

Don’t let this beautiful weather and awesome attitude about the summer I am having make it seem like my life is now really easy and simple. That is so far from the truth. My life is just like anyone else’s: one with pain, sadness, loneliness, etc.

There is a running joke that LT also stands for “Lots of Trials. I have found this out to be true this summer, but I now know that through the trials, I have God’s joy, love and mercy to fall back on. What a great gift that anyone can receive with no strings attached!

I was motivated to blog this afternoon by all the love I have continually received from God’s people here in Colorado. I’ve never been involved a group that cares so much about each other or about their relationship with God. It is truly a beautiful thing that makes me smile whenever I think about it or experience it.

I may have seemed like a good Christian boy my first two years of college, following the rules and doing all the right things, but I never experienced God’s love and joy until this year. I want everyone to feel that joy now! I can’t wait to get back to school in the fall and help everyone I encounter experience God’s love.

I’ve got more topics to blog about, so hopefully I can get to those soon. Love you guys!

Monday, June 27, 2011

Three Words


3 Words

As the first month in Colorado has come and gone, I’ve been thinking a lot about how I want this summer to be defined when I reach the end of it. A couple of friends have suggested that I try and think of three words that I could use to guide my actions during the summer and establish my goals going into next school year. Here’s what I came up with.

Brother

A big goal and passion I have for next year’s canvas group is to be one of the top male leaders while also being a guy that younger students can come to if they need someone to talk with about spiritual things. Over the past year (and especially this summer), I’ve learned how important that kind of relationship is and how helpful it can be in a young person’s walk with the Lord.

I want to be a great big brother to all my brothers in Christ, so I need to learn how that is done successfully. This summer has given me a number of great guys that I can go to if I need to talk about anything. Now I know how to show others that I care enough about them to help them with whatever they are going through and always point them towards the Lord.

Personal

This is the main spiritual goal and word I have established for the summer. For the first 20 years of my life, I didn’t really grasp the concept that our God is THE personal God, the one that you can go to with any feeling: joy, sadness, anger, etc. He can handle anything you throw at him, but I never really took advantage of that before this summer.

I am now reading my Bible mostly every day (reading the whole New Testament this summer) and giving myself daily time to talk with God on a personal level. This has helped strengthen my faith, exposed me to more intimate moments with God and has overall given me more joy in situations that probably wouldn’t be joyful without Him.

Purpose

Finally, I want to figure out my purpose in life. Who doesn't want to figure that out? We are going through a book called “Chazown” through the LT program out here, which means “vision” or “purpose” in Hebrew. I can say that I saw God working in my life personally when I heard that we were going to be reading this book.

I’m going to be entering my senior year of college and I don’t really have any idea of what spiritual gifts I have or how I can use my talents to serve the kingdom of God. I love sports journalism, but am I using my gifts to glorify God through that? I don’t really think so.

So this summer has been a time of exploration and learning about what things I am good at (on a spiritual level). I still haven’t figured out a master plan or anything (what things go according to plan anyways?), but I’m getting a clearer picture of what gifts God has given me and what I am passionate about doing.

Going into LT, I really had no expectations on what God was going to do in my life or what I wanted out of the experience, but now that a month has passed by, I see exactly why I am here and these three words help show those reasons in the best way I know how. I am so grateful for this opportunity and I'm doing the best I can to take advantage of it every single day.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

What's wrong with me?

I’ve been meaning to blog for each of the past couple of days, but I never could find the right time to get all my thoughts down in an orderly fashion. Finally I have some time this afternoon, so here it is.

Everyone has been talking about how much they are enjoying LT so far. Celebrating how many awesome new friends they have made and how their experience is far surpassing their expectations in the first couple of weeks.

Sadly, I wouldn’t describe my experience in that way at all thus far. I desperately want to have a great time here while growing closer to God and learning how to be a leader in the church, but I just feel really disconnected to the LT program for some reason.

There have been a lot of activities that I have done in the last couple of weeks (three hikes in seven days, four putt-putt outings, an employee roller skating party, card games, etc.) but I somehow still don’t feel completely settled in. I have kept extremely busy and have done a lot of hanging around new people, but I can't escape this feeling of not fitting in.

First of all, I’m the only LT person working at the Rustic CafĂ© in the administration building, which has been both good and bad, but I can’t stop focusing on the bad parts of it.

The job requires me to work three nights per week, which has been a little depressing. Yeah, I get to sleep in a little bit and spend some time with God in the morning/afternoons on those days (which has been great for me), but everyone else who is working in housekeeping or food service with a lot of other LT people seem to be bonding a lot quicker with their co-workers and fellow LT’ers than I am. I feel like I'm being left behind and there is not a lot I can do to catch up.

Maybe God is trying to push me out of my comfort zone to make a better effort to bond with new people (something I wouldn’t consider myself good at). Maybe I’m just being lazy in trying to make new friends.I don’t know what it is, but hopefully my attitude will improve over the next couple of days.

I’m sitting here waiting to go to work from 2-10:30 tonight, getting depressed at the thought that I haven’t had a good human interaction with any LT person in the last 48 hours. Why is God doing this to me?

Please don’t think I’ve just been pouting and complaining the whole time I have been here, though. I have been enjoying myself a lot in the last week and a half, growing closer to a couple guys in my project/life group, but there is still this little feeling in the back of my mind that I can’t seem to ignore.

What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I make friends as quickly as others? Why can’t I have a good time when everyone else is? It’s just been so frustrating.

I guess I just need to accept the role I have been given here at LT and try to make the most of it. This summer is gonna be one of great growth, I just need to figure out how that is going to happen.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

First Impressions

Well, now that I've been in Colorado for just over 24 hours (that's it?), I thought it'd be good to update everyone on how things are going. (Check out my Facebook for some pictures!)

After some complications on our second day of travel (sickness and a damaged front bumper at a gas station in Kansas), we arrived in almost one piece in beautiful Estes Park, Colorado at around 4:30 MT.

The scenery in Colorado is certainly awe-inspiring, as advertised. We are surrounded by snow capped mountains and as we were driving in, we saw three fully grown elk just kinda chillin by the side of the main road at the YMCA. I'm gonna have to get used to that, I guess! Even though it has been a bit rainy and cold here for the first couple of days, it's still just awesome to look around and see how great God's creation really is.

I have been really excited to come to Colorado for the last couple of months, but the first 24 hours have kind of been an up and down emotional experience for me.

Mostly, I'm confused because I have no clue why God sent me here. I feel in my heart that I am supposed to be here this summer, but He hasn't really shown me the specific reason why I am here yet. Maybe I'm here to make awesome friends, improve my evangelizing skills, push myself out of my comfort zone or grow really close to God. Heck, maybe it can be all of those.

I'm praying that God can show me how to best spend my time this summer. There are so many opportunities here which can make it kind of overwhelming, but I'm sure that there is a reason I am here and I trust that God will make this a very productive summer in preparation for my senior year.

Bt dubs, I just got back from the first meeting with my project group, which was fun. We ate dinner, heard a crazy story about some A&M people's car accident on the way to LT (everyone is safe!) and played some Catch Phrase. Our group is cool so far and I can't wait to see how God brings us together this summer!

Oh, I also found out that my official job for the summer will be working at the Rustic Cafe. It's kind of a Starbucks-type place on the YMCA grounds which seems like a nice place to work and was my most preferred job. PTL!

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Ready for a new challenge

Tomorrow, I'll be headed out to Estes Park, Colorado to spend the summer with college students from all around the country, work at the YMCA of the Rockies and participate in LT, a program that helps create young leaders in the church.

I made my decision to go to LT early in the spring semester, so my anticipation for going to Colorado has been building for a while. I am excited to get out to Colorado for a number of reasons:

1. I will be challenged and encouraged daily to grow in my faith.

This year has been an awesome year of spiritual growth in my life. I’ve used this year to re-dedicate every minute of my life to the Lord and I’m doing all I can to be a great example of God’s love. The community that God provided for me through the Mark Twain Canvas Group and my core group was just what I needed to be motivated to live my life for Him.

With that said, there is still a lot of room for me to improve my relationship with the Lord and become more dedicated to serving Him daily. Being surrounded by about 150 Christian college students who have the same desire to grow in their faith will create an awesome atmosphere that will challenge me more than I have ever been challenged.

2. I will become more comfortable with outreach in preparation for next year.

As I look toward my senior year at Mizzou, I can’t help but be excited about all of the opportunities for outreach that we will have with the new Dobbs canvas group. That area of campus has been kind of neglected over the past couple of years, so a strong leadership group in that area will be necessary for it to be a prosperous canvas group.

With all of these opportunities to evangelize next year, I must use this summer to prepare myself to be bold and more intentional with incoming freshman. Even though I’m not officially a leader for the canvas group next year, being a senior means that freshman guys will naturally look up to me, so I have to be prepared to at least be a good role model.

The LT program is known for helping develop leaders (Leaders are developed at a leadership training camp? Who woulda guessed it?), so I am excited to see how I can finally become a true leader in the church.

3. I will grow closer to great people who love the Lord.

If I’m being honest, this past semester was the first time I really developed any relationships with people my age that were based on our shared love for the Lord. It was really the first time I realized what a true “brother” or “sister in Christ” was. Having people my age that can help me depend more on God with every passing day is something I have never really had in my life.

Whether it’s through encouraging words or just seeing what God is doing in other people’s lives, the power of friendships that are built on shared faith is undeniable. I’m really looking forward to finding more brothers and sisters in Christ in Colorado!

I’ve also thought of some specific goals for the summer: set out a specific time for God every day, read my Bible every day, learn to play the guitar a little better, be extremely committed to my project group, etc. This should be the best summer of my life, and God willing, it will be!

I’ll use this blog to keep everyone back home updated on all that I am learning and how I am growing in my faith! As you can tell, I'm extremely excited for what God has in store for me this summer and I hope some of you share that same excitement for me!

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

An ode to baseball


As baseball season kicked off just over a week ago, my excitement for what should be another great summer following my favorite team, the defending AL champion Texas Rangers, could not be contained. The Rangers' 9-2 record in their first 11 games has obviously done nothing to temper my enthusiasm.

Growing up, I was interested in all the sports that I could find time to watch. My mom said she knew Kyle and I had a “problem” when she came home to see us watching a random women’s volleyball match on ESPN2. We were only 10 years old.

As you can tell, sports have been my biggest interest for the majority of my life. There is nothing in the world that is more entertaining than watching highly skilled athletes competing at the highest level.

Each sport requires a different set of skills and each sport is awesome in it’s own way. If any kind of sporting event, you can witness greatness.

I love football. It is thrilling to attend football games because of the intense action involved and there is no comparison to the athleticism needed to excel in this awesome sport.

Basketball is great. While referees have clouded my love for the game recently, watching great players (Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, LeBron James, etc.) dominate at this game is one of the most awe-inspiring things that you can see in sports.

I have even begun to love hockey in the past four years or so. The game is so fluid, yet physical, and it is quite unique compared to other American sports. And of course, nothing compares to the intensity of the Stanley Cup Playoffs.

Even with how awesome these sports are and how much I enjoy them, none of them even come close to conjuring up the same kind of feelings that I have about baseball.

Maybe my early love for baseball is the reason it is #1 in my eyes. As a child, the only sport I ever attended consistently was baseball. Texas Rangers games were easy to go to on the cheap and it was a fun summer activity for our family.

During the time that we went to a lot of games, the Rangers always sucked. We always seemed to go to Rangers v. Devil Rays games and the Rangers would lose more often than not, even with how terrible those Devil Rays teams were. That’s how bad the Rangers were.

Even with many losing experiences, I still have many fond memories of the Ballpark in Arlington and it was always my favorite place to be during the summer.

One of the major reasons that baseball is the best overall sport is the relaxed atmosphere of it’s games. Yes, sports are supposed to be as exciting as possible, but there is just something unexplainably enjoyable about putting up your feet, having a nice tray of nachos and watching some baseball with the people you love.

It may sound cliché, but watching a baseball game is just a great way to connect with people. When attending more high-paced games like hockey and football, it is hard to really converse and get to know the people you attend the game with. Baseball is different in that it is very conversational and relaxing. Many great father-son relationships have been created around a baseball diamond, and that is no coinceidence.

Some people understand this love for baseball, but a lot of others find it odd that people could be so interested in such a “boring” game. It’s hard to argue against the fact that baseball’s action is slow-paced, but it is really what happens in between the action that makes this sport so interesting.

As the batter waits for the pitch, you can almost see the wheels turning inside his head, wondering what pitch the pitcher will throw next. Then you look at the pitcher, who is pondering what spot he can put his next pitch in where his opponent wont crush it out of the ballpark.

There is so much strategy involved in the pitcher-batter conflict. The pitcher seems to control the action with the pitches he selects, but it could be argued that what the batter does/is good at is what actually controls the action.

This battle (mental and physical) happens with every single pitch that is thrown. The pitcher thinks: ‘Do I throw a curveball in the dirt here and hope he chases it or do I try and sneak a fastball by him.’ while the batter thinks: ‘Don’t get fooled by a curveball, but don’t miss your chance to hit a good fastball…’ Who comes out on top?

The anticipation rises with each passing pitch because of the fact that it could be the one that decides the game.

Anticipation is also present during the action. A player strokes a ball to the gap that gets down and slowly rolls to the wall. The crowd rises to its feet as the batter rounds second to try and stretch a double into a triple. He dives in safely and the crowd goes into a frenzy. Talk about exhilarating.

These kinds of feelings are present in other sports, but baseball lives and dies with this feeling of anticipation, from pitch to pitch, inning to inning and game to game.

Another reason baseball is so uniquely awesome is that you honestly never know what is going to happen when you show up at a ballpark.

Bengie Molina, the slowest player in the history of baseball, could stroke a triple to the alley in right center to complete a cycle. Edwin Jackson, a guy with great stuff but terrible command could throw a no-hitter. There are so many ways greatness can present itself in the game of baseball, so each game is a mystery.

Things like this don’t happen near as often in other sports. Sure, a receiver could have a breakout game (Kevin Curtis’ 3 TD game in the opening week of 2007 comes to mind), but greatness occurs more frequently in baseball games.

Unique personalities also make this game interesting. Where else can you find a guy who throws an 85 MPH, side armed fastball be as successful as a guy who can throw 98 MPH?

These unique personalities help create so many awesome memories. Remember how the 25 idiots came together and ended a nearly century long World Series drought for the Red Sox? How about how the ‘Claw and Antlers’ phase swept North Texas last summer on the way to an unforgettable October? There is no team-wide bond like the one that is formed through baseball.

That statement is probably true because the game is played nearly every day. Teams spend all of their time together, on and off the field, so they have to have a special chemistry to be great.

The fact that the game is played every day is another reason why baseball is so great. People think that baseball could get boring in this way, but the fact that each day brings a new starting pitcher to the mound makes each game uniquely interesting.

Your team could get crushed 15-2 one day and come back the next day and beat the same team 8-1. This variance day to day makes the game easy to watch and makes it easy to say “Well, there is always tomorrow.” There is always something to look forward to during a baseball season and each day presents a different challenge.

This is always said when there is an explanation on why baseball is great, but it is so true that it bears repeating. The fact that there is no clock in the game makes it so unique and so much more watchable.

You don’t always have to be worrying about how much time is left and a team with a lead can’t just run out the clock. Each team gets 27 outs at the beginning of the game to play with, and whoever does the best with them gets the win. It is simple, yet extremely fair.

I could go on and on with the reasons why baseball is awesome (stats, prospects, trades, etc.), but this post could go on for a couple more thousand words, so I’ll just stop it here and end with a story on how rewarding baseball can be.

Even with how awesome I thought baseball was for the first 19 years of my life, my team never really rewarded me with any sort of success. We had never made the playoffs during the time that I was a die-hard fan and we rarely came close. I never thought of abandoning my team, but it was frustrating that the team would be so disappointing year in and year out.

My (and the rest of the dedicated fan base’s) persistence paid of in September and October of last year. The Rangers had a fantastic season and won the division for the first time since 1999. Excitement ramped up in the DFW area and the team went on an improbable run to their first World Series ever.

I’ve never seen a city get so far behind their team as I did last fall. The Rangers were riding a high wave of confidence and the fans were treated to some of the most thrilling and rewarding baseball games I have ever seen. To people who say sports are pointless and a waste of time, tell that to the 50,000+ people in attendance (plus an uncountable number of fans watching across the country) who were going absolutely nuts when Neftali Feliz struck out Alex Rodriguez to advance the Rangers to the World Series.

Poetic justice at it’s finest, and something that could only be produced by the great sport of baseball.