This year's struggle

Over two weeks in and I feel like this summer has been the exact opposite of last year's summer in many ways thus far. 

Social Life

First Rockies game of the year! "We" won 13-3

As an intern this year, my schedule is so flexible that I've had all the time in the world to hang out with whoever I want whenever they are available. I can adjust my work around when other people are available. I also no longer have to sit in the Rustic Cafe and watch my friends play card games and have a great time while I'm stuck at work. That's awesome for me because that was the hardest part of my summer last year. Now there is no excuse for me not to make deep relationships with everyone that God puts in my life.

The bad thing with not working at the Y, though, is that I'm having a hard time meeting non-LTers, especially since the Y put basically all of LT into one dorm by ourselves. Having a community with non-believers is one thing we really need to be able to reach out to people at the Y. It is hard for me specifically because I don't work or live with any of them. Pray that I am still able to find and seek out non-believers and share my faith with them

Time

Another huge difference for me this year has been how I spend my time. Last year, I had just become aware of my desperate need for personal growth and an understanding of God's love. While I'm still desperate for that (as every Christian should be), my job with GCM has made me turn my main focus outward to the students involved with LT. 

This desire isn't an inherently bad thing. Focusing on helping others improve their walks with God is a much needed thing and it's the thing that excites me most in life. I can't tell you how many times I've caught myself just smiling uncontrollably while listening to people talk about how much they have grown at LT so far. I desire to see that in everyone who has a budding relationship with Christ and that's what makes me think I want to do this full-time!

I'm still learning how to find the appropriate balance between spending time with others and building into them and spending time with God and allowing him to build into me.

Relationship with God

Sweet moonrise over Twin Sisters

Over the first week of LT, I basically neglected my relationship with God because of the hectic nature of the start of the program and because I think deep down I was starting to believe that I didn't need to focus on myself or my walk with God. Obviously that was dumb.

Through that trial, I've learned that the best way to be a good leader in a church setting is to set a great example of a fully-loving relationship with God for the people I am leading.

 

Like I've said before, my goal for the summer is to more fully understand Jesus' life and realize with my heart why God is worthy of my eternal praise.

 

Since that first week, I have been reading through various passages in the New Testament, but I'm mainly focusing on the Gospels, starting with Matthew. In reading and studying these chapters (with my new ESV Study Bible! Woo!) I am coming to a fuller understanding of who Jesus was and how his story and life connect so beautifully with what was prophecized in the Old Testament.

 

As far as the second goal, I have been in a constant state of joy and wonder so far this summer, rejoicing in what God is doing in my project group and in my life in general, which has certainly given me more reason to praise Him and realize his overwhelming power. Obviously, there is a long way to go in this goal and I'm sure I'll never be done learning!

Thanks for all your prayers and support!

What I learned about myself this summer

Well, I’m sitting here only a couple of hours from leaving beautiful Estes Park, CO (it’s especially beautiful today, of course) and I’ve decided to blog about what I learned about myself as a person this summer.

I already discussed what I learned about God at LT, which was a lot, but I feel like I learned a lot about myself as well.

One of the themes of LT was “Chazown” which means “purpose” in Hebrew. We were all united in searching for God’s purpose for our lives. I was really interested in seeing if I could find out what to do after college, mainly because journalism is kind of running it’s course in my heart and I only have a year to really figure out what other options I have.

Even with this hope of finding a “Chazown”, I didn’t think God would put a certain passion on my heart that I could transform into a career or lifestyle, but hey, God always shows up when you don’t expect it.

Through one-on-one meetings, project days and everything else that went on here at LT, I have felt led to consider going on staff at GCM church after graduating.

I discovered that I have a passion for helping college students find and pursue God with all of their hearts. I really want to help people avoid going into a spiritual rut if they were Christians before coming to college and I want to help interested people come to know the Lord. College is a great place to do this.

Needless to say, this passion has really got me excited for the upcoming school year. I am ready to go back and #dowork in the Dobbs Canvas group for one final year.

The reason I know that this is a real passion of mine is that I can’t see myself finished helping at the college level after this year. That may be a bit of selfishness coming through (who really ever wants to leave college?), but I really think that I am built to relate with college students and I can’t wait to see what God has for me in that area.

For the first time, I actually feel ready to help lead people in their Christian walks. I have considered myself a Christian for my whole life, but I would have never felt comfortable sharing my faith, helping others through faith issues, etc. Now after LT, I am more than ready, which is another thing I have learned about myself: I am good enough to lead.

One other thing I learned about God is that he is always making me new. I blogged about this earlier, but coming into the summer I was thinking: “man, this has been a great semester of growth, what else is there for me to grow in?”

That was an obviously stupid thought, but God showed up in areas I didn’t know were problems and helped grow me in those areas. I now truly believe that God is continually making his followers new, which is ridiculously awesome.

During a quiet time today, I read Proverbs 11:26. It says this: “People curse the man who hoards grain, but blessing crowns him who is willing to sell. (NIV)”

If you apply this to spiritual growth, it makes complete sense for me going back to school.

All of the things I have learned about myself have been great and I have grown a ton, but what good will all that growth be if I didn’t pass it on? How can I help affect other’s walks with Christ?

There’s one thing I need to learn about myself in the coming year: how to balance building others up with getting built up myself. But that’s for another blog post (coming soon!)

Set a fire down in my soul

As I continue my growth in my faith this summer, my focus has been narrowed to one thing in past couple of weeks: to gain the skills necessary to become an effective leader of college guys (mainly freshman) in our campus church, especially during the next school year.

Before this summer, I had never had a mature, Christian guy my age that really focused on being a positive mentor and role model for me. That has changed in my first 8 weeks at LT with a great life group leader, staff guide and other people who have shown specific care for me.

I have had a ton of positive experiences with one-on-one mentorship at LT and I now feel like I will be more comfortable giving advice to younger college students because of the experiences I have had here. Because of this, I am super excited to be a spiritual mentor to people in our canvas group next year.

This kind of personal attention and caring is one of the better things that I have discovered about my faith in the past year. Honestly, what’s a more appealing faith than one that has people who truly care about you? People taking time out to meet with me just to listen to what is going on in my life has been one of the best things about LT so far.

I want to show this kind of Godly love to as many people as possible, no matter if they have been a Christian their entire lives, are just starting to think about becoming a Christian, or even if they are a non-Christian. I believe God has given me ears to listen, experiences to help people in tough times and a loving heart, so my passion and skills line up!

I don’t know if this means I want to stay at the college level after I graduate (sounds great to me) and help out a campus church somewhere, but I am certain I want to sell completely out for our canvas group next year.

Next year will be the first full year that I will be involved in a canvas group, so I am pumped to be there to reel all of the freshman in and start building into them. Seeing people you really care about grow in their faith is so exciting!

I’ve learned so much about myself and my faith this summer, all while gaining confidence in my ability to be a loving friend to other Christians.

When we started “Chazown” at the beginning of the summer, I didn’t believe I would truly find a solid purpose for myself before the end of the summer. I thought some of my better skills would be revealed and I would start to see my purpose coming to the surface, but I didn’t expect to have so many specific ideas in mind about where my life could be headed.

God provides and it is awesome.

Three Words

3 Words

As the first month in Colorado has come and gone, I’ve been thinking a lot about how I want this summer to be defined when I reach the end of it. A couple of friends have suggested that I try and think of three words that I could use to guide my actions during the summer and establish my goals going into next school year. Here’s what I came up with.

Brother

A big goal and passion I have for next year’s canvas group is to be one of the top male leaders while also being a guy that younger students can come to if they need someone to talk with about spiritual things. Over the past year (and especially this summer), I’ve learned how important that kind of relationship is and how helpful it can be in a young person’s walk with the Lord.

I want to be a great big brother to all my brothers in Christ, so I need to learn how that is done successfully. This summer has given me a number of great guys that I can go to if I need to talk about anything. Now I know how to show others that I care enough about them to help them with whatever they are going through and always point them towards the Lord.

Personal

This is the main spiritual goal and word I have established for the summer. For the first 20 years of my life, I didn’t really grasp the concept that our God is THE personal God, the one that you can go to with any feeling: joy, sadness, anger, etc. He can handle anything you throw at him, but I never really took advantage of that before this summer.

I am now reading my Bible mostly every day (reading the whole New Testament this summer) and giving myself daily time to talk with God on a personal level. This has helped strengthen my faith, exposed me to more intimate moments with God and has overall given me more joy in situations that probably wouldn’t be joyful without Him.

Purpose

Finally, I want to figure out my purpose in life. Who doesn't want to figure that out? We are going through a book called “Chazown” through the LT program out here, which means “vision” or “purpose” in Hebrew. I can say that I saw God working in my life personally when I heard that we were going to be reading this book.

I’m going to be entering my senior year of college and I don’t really have any idea of what spiritual gifts I have or how I can use my talents to serve the kingdom of God. I love sports journalism, but am I using my gifts to glorify God through that? I don’t really think so.

So this summer has been a time of exploration and learning about what things I am good at (on a spiritual level). I still haven’t figured out a master plan or anything (what things go according to plan anyways?), but I’m getting a clearer picture of what gifts God has given me and what I am passionate about doing.

Going into LT, I really had no expectations on what God was going to do in my life or what I wanted out of the experience, but now that a month has passed by, I see exactly why I am here and these three words help show those reasons in the best way I know how. I am so grateful for this opportunity and I'm doing the best I can to take advantage of it every single day.